I Finished My First Year Of Grad School & How I'm Adjusting

It’s wild to even be able to type it, but, I have completed my first year of graduate school. The last year has been….a journey. Let’s get into that journey.

Workload

I knew this would be a lot. And well, it is. I have 5 classes that I HAVE to take every semester; each with its own decent amount of work (one of those classes is Field Seminar though - we only meet once a month and it’s really just us discussing our internship/field). When I was doing my undergraduate degree I capped at about 3 classes a semester because I knew that’s all I could handle.

This kind of concerned me when I first got into my university, but after a full year I’ve realized it’s not THAT bad. Yes, I’ve had weeks where I was stressed as fuck and thought I’d never get it all done. Yes, I’ve had mental breakdowns and considered saying “Fuck this” and just giving up. And yes, I do procrastinate and hate myself for it. But I still go on because this is something I really want. Like, really really want. The classes I’m taking are directly related to my future career as a therapist/social worker, so they’re interesting as fuck. That in itself makes me want to keep going and make sure I get everything done. It’s a lot of hard work and headache now, but I know it will lead to me being able to do something I love, so I’m here for it.

Social Life

All the stuff I read and watched before I got into my program was that getting to know your cohort was pretty important. People said things’ll be just a little easier if I had friends around me who were going through and learning the same stuff as me. So, I went in fully open to making friends, having study buddies, and just being cool with the people in my classes. And being that I was popular as fuck in undergrad, I thought this would be easy peasy.

But around the beginning of my second semester I realized - I don’t want to be friends with these people. That sounds mean, but hear me out. There were a few types of classmates I’ve had so far: the ones who barely seemed to give a fuck about engagement, participating, and just learning the material, the ones who did speak and were social but dumb as fuck, and the ones who I saw really cared about stuff, were smart, I talked to a lot and admired, but were just so busy with their own lives (work, kids, school, etc) to ever have time for me. After realizing this was the set of people I’m dealing with, I kind of accepted that I was gonna be pretty solo for my time here. Which is kind of disappointing, but that’s just how it is.

Material I’m Learning

The material I’m actually being taught is fascinating as fuck to me. There’s history that I was never taught anywhere else, how to interact with humans, and ethics-based ways to do things. It’s all very new to me, and it’s all fun. My Social Work Practice 2 class focused a lot on family therapy. I never thought I’d want to work with entire families (yes I know mezzo work is a key part in therapy), but that particular class kinda made me want to.

I Hate Virtual Learning, But It’s Nice Sometimes

My university is hybrid right now - one week is in person, the next week via Zoom, and so on. When this was implemented I hated it. I finished my undergrad degree fully online, and I hated having to teach myself content. Also, I was fully ready to show up in my cute outfits with my Longchamp bag and sit in an actual classroom. That was my dream. So hearing that we’d spend about half the time in a Zoom class pissed me off. However, my anxiety had other plans. I guess because I hadn’t had a regular routine that involved going out of the house in forever, my brain was not used to it. So there were days when I just did not want to leave the house. This made me appreciate the Zoom weeks where I was able to sit in my PJs in front of a computer screen. I also understand that since the pandemic people have realized that we can get stuff done from the comfort of our own homes. I still truly believe that actual human contact and being out is important for us all (I’m really afraid we’re going to turn into a bunch of shut-ins, but I will leave that for another post). But I know things change and there can be benefits from that change.

And Finally…

This entire graduate school experience is amazing. I am learning - which is one of my favorite things to do. And I’m preparing to be the person I want to be - a therapist. I complain about the workload, I have mental breakdowns mid-semester, and I wait until the last minute to finish huge assignments. But all of this is exciting to me and another goal I know I’m going to reach. I cannot wait until September comes around.