I Quit Smoking.

When I was a kid I hated the fact that I smelled like cigarette smoke and a stuffy house, and thought people judge me for it.

But in my mid-to-late 20s, I started smoking on my own. Yes, I started smoking when one of my friends from college (I was still getting my Criminal Justice degree at the time) offered me one. But no, I don’t blame them for my cigarette habit. I chose to take that cigarette and smoke it. Peer pressure? I don’t know her.

After that first smoke it was a social thing, then it became a…me thing. I bought my first pack of Newports and my world was changed. I wouldn’t say I was addicted to smoking, I was just…dependent on it. I had to have my Morning Cigarette to get me started, and heaven forbid someone bothered me during it. After a while people close to me kept saying “Hey, when do you think you’re gonna stop?”, and my answer was always “Soon”. I didn’t know when the fuck I was gonna stop smoking, but I knew that I eventually would stop, because I didn’t wanna end up like my grandparents in a stuffy one bedroom apartment smoking packs on end.

Last year I went to see the movie Nope with my landlord, my close friend (my landlord’s granddaughter), and her boyfriend. When we got home from the movie, I saw my landlord outside that night. She came to me and said, very calmly, “You know, when we were out today you didn’t smoke one cigarette”. I was kinda - taken aback by this. First off the fact that she noticed it (I really shouldn’t have been surprised, she’s a ridiculously smart woman and she does notice stuff, she just doesn’t always comment on it), and, how accurate it was. I didn’t smoke a cigarette that day (I did share a blunt with my friends, but that’s not the focus here). And I said to my landlord “I didn’t even realize that. I guess it’s because I was enjoying myself so much that it didn’t cross my mind”. After that conversation with her, I thought this was the time I should cut this smoking shit out.

So I stopped. I went the vaping route, which I know isn’t healthy in itself, but I knew I’d need something to ween myself off of the actual cigarettes cause cold turkey wasn’t gonna be the move.

It’s now been about 7 months (give or take) since I’ve smoked a real cigarette. I’m still kind of shocked that It was as easy as it was, but I’m not even gonna ask questions. I no longer crave cigarettes and that’s fucking progress. Eventually I plan on taking the vape completely out of the equation, because who the fuck wants to be sitting here sucking on an ElfBar the rest of their lives.

But, one step at a time.